“Do I Look Fat??”…and other stupid questions

images ikeaSO…Christmas has come and gone once again…thank goodness!  Don’t get me wrong I love the holidays…I love the decorations, the music, the happiness that people exude, the kindness displayed and the extra time spent with family and friends.  I love the promise of a New Year with all the possibilities and opportunities it holds (I do however HATE WITH A VENGEANCE this insanely cccccold weather!!).  I also enjoy though when the house is less chaotic, the tree is at the curb, the goodies have all been devoured and things start to settle back into a more normal routine.
I’d like to share with you an actual conversation had in my bathroom 4 days ago… this is not a fabrication:
Rob (my spouse): “Do I look like I’ve gained weight”?
Me: “You look great”! (I didn’t tell a lie and that’s what I would want to hear so why wouldn’t he?)
Rob:  “The scale says I’ve gained 7 lbs…but I don’t believe it” (hmmm…last time I checked it was telling the truth)
Me:  “You look good honey…maybe a little around the middle.”
Rob:  “I don’t think so…my clothes still fit the same.” (okaaay….)
Me:  “Well we all have been eating a fair bit of treats…” (diplomacy is the name of the game)
Rob:  “Nope I think its muscle, I’ve been working out more.” (you have not and I don’t think muscle jiggles like that)
What is it with men that  for the most part they have a so much healthier body image than we women do?  They can gain a few pounds or go off track and not implode with harrowing negative self-talk.  The world doesn’t come to an apocalyptic end if they whack back a few extra cookies over the holidays and they don’t sit down with their buddies over a bottle of chardonnay and bemoan that they are weak and fat and all the other horrible things women say about themselves because they happen to have indulged a bit or gained a pound or two.
In my stocking this year ‘Santa’ gave me the fitness magazine Oxygen (along with a cheese grater from Ikea and…wait for it…a cutlery tray, also from Ikea….but I digress…).  I have always enjoyed the magazine as I find it inspires me to consider trying new recipes and workouts.  No I don’t always go and do it but I do find it can be motivating.  This year my teen-aged daughter and I looked over the magazine together (yes whilst nibbling on shortbread) and our comments ran along:  “NO ONE looks like that unless they are on steroids”, “totally fake”, “she is completely botoxed”  “those abs/boobs are sooo airbrushed pass me another shortbread”.  No we weren’t being catty…I believe, thankfully, that Maggie and I both have healthy body images.  All of the comments we made I feel were based on truth (and lets face it a little bit of mother/daughter model bashing is good for the soul hehehe :)).
We women are the ones who for the most part buy those magazines (and I don’t just mean the fitness mags but all the fashion ones as well) and then set unrealistic goals and expectations for ourselves. And then what happens?  We berate ourselves because we don’t possess the super powers (and airbrushing skills) required to achieve them.   Healthy, normal, realistic males (and females) do NOT expect the women in their lives to look like the women (or 13-year-old girls posing as women) depicted in the media.
I think a really good New Years resolution for my female readers (and males if it applies…I’m not meaning to exclude anyone) is to either NOT buy those magazines, or if you can’t resist, to look at them with not just a grain of salt but the whole shaker. That and as I have said in other blogs, try setting small, realistic, attainable short-term goals.  For example NOT “I am going to lose xxx lbs this year”, but something more along the lines of:
 “I am going to focus on eating small amounts of good food slowly” (anyone recognize that??  Dr. O’Briens 8 word mantra).  Or…
“I am going to do something physical every day” (I don’t mean hit the gym every day but get moving…daily, your body needs it).  Or how about…
“I am going to stop ANY AND ALL negative self-talk.  Or…
“I am going to congratulate myself on every victory no matter how big or how small”.  Or what about….
“I am going to try to listen to my body more closely and eat when I am truly hungry”.  Or…
“I am going to re-connect with my clinic” (if your band or you, or you and your band are not working harmoniously together).
Above all we need to be healthy and happy and kind to ourselves because we are SO WORTH IT!  We can do anything and achieve anything we set our minds to but the things that are most worth having in life usually take a bit of work.  And there is nothing more valuable that we can give ourselves than good health.
I want to thank my readers for following and sending me your comments…they really make my day :).  I want to wish you all a 2014 that is full of happiness and laughter, of adventure when you seek it, and of peace and tranquility when you don’t, of goals and dreams that are worked for and met and most of all a 2014 that is packed with good health.  Personally I CAN’T FREAKIN’ WAIT until Valentines Day to see what treasures from Ikea might be in store for me.  (Actually I’m being cruel.  The cheese grater was the $$ fancy type that has a compartment to hold the cheese).
Yours in Health and Wellness,

About BodyWell Fitness

I am a Registered Nurse, Personal Trainer and Fitness Instructor, and Lapband Education Coach. I have worked since 2005 with the obese population and over 5000 lapband/gastric banded patients helping them to understand life with a gastric band, eat well, lose weight, get physically and mentally fit, become healthy and stay motivated. It is my goal to provide information, share knowledge and motivate people to help them reach their hopes and dreams.
This entry was posted in education, motivation and support, nutrition, obesity, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “Do I Look Fat??”…and other stupid questions

  1. Katica says:

    Thanks Sue, your constant positivity is a ray of sun for the new year. I totally agree with anything worthwhile takes time and effort and make attainable goals!

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